every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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