Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize