I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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