Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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