just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
