Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
