sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize