just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
