I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
