I'm gonna have a badass scar
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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