With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
