Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
