found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
