Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My vagina is officially offended.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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