I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize