You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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