just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
