Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
