Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
