She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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