Sponge bath it is.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize