She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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