Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
