Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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