We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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