Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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