when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
