the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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