i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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