please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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