we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
