doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.