i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I just found a bag of teeth...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."