My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
