Screwed.edu
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
