I wanna bring you to show and tell
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
