there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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