We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
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i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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