I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
