how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
