I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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