He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We got so high we made milksteak
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
