I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
