he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
