Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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