Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We are all done wearing pants today
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
