first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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