yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
