i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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