I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
