ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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