my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
