apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
false alarm, still single
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
