He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
