My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
