Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
