So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
