So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
