Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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