I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
