problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
